Life is hectic and insanely crazy at times, throw kids in and there are some days I blink and the day is already over. I have been there, I feel you! Especially as new parents Bradley and I made the mistake of losing ourselves to the shuffle. Those first few months with Josephine we poured ourselves into her and forgot about date nights and quality time. Sure Josephine was in bed by 7pm and we had a few hours together but we didn’t spend that time investing into each other! We’ve really had to dive deep, put our marriage first, and pour into one another amidst the daily grind. That’s when the importance of QT with the hubby became a priority. And you don’t even have to leave the house! Life is always going to get busy, the kids are always going to have endless needs, and there are days where you forget your own name. These are variables we can’t change. BUT what you can do is simply implement these five things to keep that flame burning!
- Watch your man in his element! Turn the chore into some quality time. Bradley works all day and then comes home and handles stuff at the ranch. Horses need fed, yards need mowed (this one always makes me feel blah, like no don’t mow the yard I haven’t seen you all day!) the truck needs the oil changed! You name it, our men truly have a job after their job. But what if the “chore” was really an opportunity to watch your man be a total boss! Is there anything hotter than a man who can change the truck oil or do yard work?! How did I seemingly forget that this “chore” was actually hella sexy! So instead of getting lost in the daily grind turn it into an opportunity to show up with some beer and watch him in his element. Do I know anything about changing the trucks oil? Heck no! But what I do know is that it’s a chance to hit pause and appreciate his skill, be by his side, have a conversation, snap a pic of his sexy self working, and take the opportunity to be his cheerleader! Find a simple way you can help him in the midst of the chore. For me, I’m a deals shopper!! When I saw Rotella truck oil on rollback I snagged it ASAP. One less thing for the hubby to worry about! I know he loves that it keeps the engine clean and sludge free. I do the shopping he, does the work, we spend the time together.
- DANCE. I’m serious! Turn the lights down low, move the couch out of the way if you have to, put your jams on and dance together. Bradley and I really love to dance and if we are being honest the man has taught me everything I know back when we first met. But the dancing doesn’t just have to be reserved for nights out or for people who can spin like pros. There is nothing sweeter than playing some of your favorite music and dancing in the house with the person you love. Whatever your jam may be crank it up and bust a move, and end your sesh with your wedding song or whatever song is special to you. Have fun falling in love all over again. Let the world fade away for a song or ten and just fall into each other.
- Step out. Get your booty outside together and leave your phone inside! Something about changing up the scenery, putting the phone down, and sitting on the porch swing together cultivates virtuous conversation. Some of my favorite nights are sitting outside together just talking. Zero distractions, just the two of you. Even if it’s five minutes together after you put the kids to bed to go sit and look at the stars, kiss each other, and run back inside, DO IT! Sprinkle it in your week and enjoy the feeling of a date night without having to leave the house or find a sitter.
- Goal getter night. Put the babies down for bed, ditch the phones, and create a cozy pallet together on the floor. Make a cheese board, pour some wine, light the fire place, and get paper and pens. Tonight is all about making a bucket list together. We had listened to a sermon at church about bucket lists and that sparked my idea to sit down together and create ours. I of course have had a running one in my head but to flesh it out together on paper and talk about what we want to achieve together sparked lots of fun conversations. I knew my husband loves golf but I had no idea it was on his bucket list to go watch the Masters. Any and all dreams you have, put them down, talk about them, laugh together, and lose yourself in the possibility of endless adventures in your future.
- Intentional loving. THIS ONE. Might be my favorite next to dancing. These are days sprinkled in the week where you dedicate to go above the “normal” PDA. It is insanely easy to slip into the good morning kiss, the welcome home kiss, the before bed kiss routine. It just happens, its our normal way of showing your person you love them. Step out of that routine. Declare a day, I’m serious say it out loud to each other “today is intentional loving day”, and then make it happen. That means when he leaves for work you hug each other a little longer than normal, kiss him like its the last kiss your getting, like really kiss the man! And make a point to step out of your routine kisses and hugs and randomly stop in the hallway to make out! Instead of just sitting on the couch next to each other while watching your shows be intentional about cuddling up and loving. Or after you’re cleaning up dinner, stop doing the dishes and just hug each other. You don’t realize how much of a routine you are in until you spontaneously, intentionally love on one another. It is one of the easiest ways to ignite a spark. Dedicate a day to be intentional about pursuing intimacy with your person, it’s essential, and it’s an easy way to get QT together.
Ultimately, break out of your routine, ditch your phones, and sprinkle in one of these five during your week to truly appreciate each other and fuel your relationship! Ladies, lastly drop your pride. If you’re like me you have to. I always felt like it was Bradley’s job to ask me to dance or to create the moments of QT. BUT quite the opposite, it’s just as much my responsibility to make sure the man is kissed when he gets home from work as it is his to come home and embrace me after he walks in the door. Drop the pride, leave resentment aside, and love him first. You fuel the fire as much as he does, it takes two. So here’s to choosing to get some QT with your person even when life gets busy.
Stunning photography by Brooke Slone